I'm currently sitting in my friend's bathroom watching her clean. At 2 in the morning. Here's how the night went down.
There's a reasonably comfy chair for me to lounge on while she swiffers a semester's worth of bathroom dust off the floor. There were drunk people in the living room until a minute ago. Socially awkward Mark was lying drunk on the floor, and he knows my name and work history even though we only had one class together in 2009.
The lesbians may or not be having a threesome in the next room as all this is happening. Socially awkward Mark is shreiking in the living room while Steve and Eileen watch a movie, Lauren scrapes crusted puke from behind the toilet, and an unknown number of homosexual women moan on the other side of the wall. The puke isn't just on the toilet, it's across the bathroom on the vanity, too. Whoever barfed completely missed the sink and went for the cabinets instead.
Mark is taking an opportunity to discuss the anime girl's foot fetish, and Lauren has moved onto de-clumping the baby powder in the shower. When Mark feels that he has adequately covered all of anime girl's sexual bases, he comes to the bathroom to thank us for the hospitality.
He shreiked.
The sink squeaks when it's rubbed with toilet paper and Lauren makes it known that her dad used to say that her teeth weren't clean unless they were squeaky clean.
Whoever decided that vanilla lavender swiffer pads would go well with bathroom floor crust should be shot, but not now because the bathroom looks respectable and we can all go back to pretending this night never happened.
